LOVING YOUR LONGEVITY

Aging ... the only way to live

A youngster once asked for the best way to contact me, and I offered my email address. He responded, “My grandmother uses email,” thinking that because I’m old, I would be cowed. I wasn’t. Whenever young people express negativity about age I say, “You don’t like the idea of old age? Guess what, children? You might not have to worry about it!” It dawns on them that they might not have the privilege.

CHOOSING OR CHEATING?

With chemicals, pills, and surgery, we can prolong a youthful appearance, although it takes a few bucks. But there comes a time when you can’t avoid looking old. What to do then … Some of us let our hair gray, eschew face lifts, accept the inexorable march of time. But this gives rise to solicitous remarks when you mention your age. People hasten to reassure me saying, “You aren’t really old.” Or “You’re not getting older, you’re getting better.” But I am old. Is there something wrong with that?

POSITIVES

Old age has advantages, e.g., lower fares on public transportation, discounts at supermarkets, a seat on the métro. I remember the pleasure at airport security when I learned that anyone over 75 need not remove shoes. As it happens, I had turned 75 the previous day. I wonder what danger I posed the day before my 75^th birthday, but not the day after. Perhaps somebody knows.

In urban settings, we elderly ladies are invisible to street creeps. I recall the days when guys would comment on my attractive derrière. What a relief to walk about unnoticed! And as youth has grown increasingly distant from me, my priorities have evolved. I’m not consumed with anxiety about whether I’m winning popularity contests, whether I’m invited to the right parties, accessing certain Internet links or getting enough “likes” on social media.

And even if I don’t have all the answers, I know lots of things. But lest you accuse me of arrogance, I hasten to add that I’ve lived long enough to have made many mistakes, which engenders humility. I recently realized that I’ve unconsciously assumed that if I’ve learned X, others have as well. So now, if I’m annoyed at a 50-year-old’s unwise decision, I remind myself, “He hasn’t lived long enough to figure that one out. Remember how you made that mistake in your 50s.”

DEFINITIONS

What’s considered old age varies from one culture to another, and there’s nothing sacred about 65 as retirement age (introduced by Germany’s Chancellor Bismarck, late 19^th century). Everywhere in the world, systems reward and punish seniors under complicated systems for medical care, retirement, pensions. In Western society the common understanding of old age is that we seniors are no longer productive, thus more costly for the economy.

But capitalism has its own definition of “productivity,” and its proponents are limited in their understanding of how societies survive. Thus, child-raising and housekeeping are not “productive.” To dispel that notion, consider the case where the young wife dies unexpectedly and the husband pays for childcare, housecleaning, afterschool transportation, meal preparation. Only then does the economy consider that work “productive.” Also, capitalists assume that people should serve the economy rather than the reverse (topic for another article).

AGING OUT …

Abrupt retirement from the workplace is an odd notion. One day you’re making a contribution; the next day you’re in a rocking chair. Today’s workplace is run by persons much younger than I and they rely on criteria handed down. Organizations could take advantage of older workers’ experience, with a gradualtransition into retirement as they mentor younger employees. Everyone likes to make a contribution, and studies show a relationship between fatal heart attacks and retirement (especially for men). Would you want your former colleague to drop dead six months after applying for Social Security? It happens often.

BUT THERE’S ALWAYS A “BUT …”

Older cars require more maintenance than new ones. So we seniors should take action to avoid decrepitude. I figure that the older I get, the greater percentage of my day I should devote to physical fitness. Classes like yoga are the opportunity to learn to take care of yourself. But like piano-playing, daily practice makes the difference. A measly 20 minutes might serve when one is 35 or 40, but we need more as we age. My current home-based routine occupies a significant portion of my day, and exploring the workings of the body has turned out to be more interesting than I imagined. Some newly minted seniors object, “I don’t have time” but I suggest that unless you make time now, you’ll have it later, when you’re nearly immobile in front of the TV.

And don’t rely on the medical profession, since they favor drugs and surgery, even while suggesting physical activity. And most physicians treat your age rather than you, despite the fact that some 65-year-olds run marathons while others can barely walk from sofa to dinner table. That profession needs a better way to practice, but that’s another article. Likewise the fact that this “stage of life” is now an industry, supporting Big Pharma, owners of senior residences, manufacturers of devices, inter alia. Taxpayers may complain that caring for seniors is costly, but it’s merely that we’re supporting those businesses.

OUR MODELS

Yoga guru B.K.S. Iyengar died at age 95, having practiced rigorously and daily until the last few weeks of his life. And consider Duke Ellington, Frank Lloyd Wright, Toni Morrison, and others who just kept going. Remember Grandma Moses, who began her painting career in her late 70s. Apparently, she was always interested in art, but the demands of life took precedence. Sound familiar? Someone said that old age is an excellent time for outrageous actions. And what shocks some people will cause applause from others. Regardless of their reactions, the consequences no longer scare us.